I have always heard so much about love languages and how important it is to figure out your own. Everyone gives and receives love differently. I am 36 and am just now finding out mine. I even went so far as to buy the book, but haven’t had a chance to sit down and read it. Instead, I took the online quiz. You can take it here.
Before I get into my results, let’s discuss the five different love languages.
Physical Touch. This one sounds pretty self-explanatory. If your love language is physical touch, that means that you prefer physical expressions of love over all expressions (words of affirmation or receiving gifts). However, physical touch doesn’t always mean intimate touches. Hand holding and hugs are also included in this love language. There are many non-intimate touches that can and should be used to show your partner love.
Acts of Service. If this is your love language. it simply means you feel loved when your partner does something to help you out, or does something that they know you don’t necessarily want to do; i.e. filling your car up with gas, doing the dishes, or cooking a meal. When someone gives you acts of service, it is essentially them giving up their time.
Words of Affirmation. This is actually the most common love language. With this, you usually feel loved when someone randomly compliments you or tells you how much you are appreciated. You love feeling understood and receiving praise for something you have done.
Quality Time. If quality time is your love language, you feel loved when someone gives you their undivided attention. This, however, does not mean just sitting in front of the TV watching shows together. It’s more like sitting on the couch with the TV off, talking to each other. No phones. No distractions. Actually being with each other, feeling connected to each other.
Receiving Gifts. Also sounds pretty straightforward. If your love language is receiving gifts, you feel love when your partner gives you any sort of present. If this is your love language, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are materialistic. It just means that you feel loved when your partner is reminded of you when he sees something, or thinks of you when he is away.
I suggest you delve deeper into these to fully understand each of them. I just gave a brief description of each. There are many websites that describe each of the love languages more in depth. You will also be able to get more information on your own personal love language after you take the quiz.
You can purchase Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages book on the website, as well.
And now for my results. There were a few questions throughout the quiz that were hard for me to answer, because neither of the options given were what made me feel “most loved”, but I had to choose one, so I went with which of the two given were best suited for me.
According to the results from the quiz, the breakdown for my love languages were: Physical Touch: 7%, Receiving Gifts: 10%, Acts of Service: 33%, Words of Affirmation: 23%, and Quality Time: 27%. Words of Affirmation and Quality Time were both close for second, but my primary Love Language is Acts of Service.
YOUR PRIMARY LOVE LANGUAGE IS: Acts of Service
“Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.”
I can agree with this, to an extent. I have always done everything myself, but hearing “I took your car and put gas in it” or “I put the laundry away” does sound nice. Honestly, I really do think I would still feel weird if someone were to do something for me, though. However, not having to ask anyone to clean up after themselves definitely makes a feel some type of way. I also agree with Receiving Gifts and Physical Touch being the lesser of the five. I have never been one to fully enjoy physical closeness. My family isn’t really “huggers”; they never have been. And I’ve said this before, I don’t really enjoy receiving gifts.. simply because I feel like it will be used against me sometime later.
I think I am going to make time to read the book and see if I get the same or different results. Knowing your own love language will help you to better accept love, by being able to tell your partner how you want or need to be loved. Finding out your partner’s love language is also essential. Like I said before, everyone loves and receives love differently. While mine says Acts of Service, my partner’s could be Quality Time. So me doing things for him might not make him feel as loved as me spending time with him.
I suggest everyone take the time to figure out your own love language and that of your partner’s. There is also a “single” portion of the quiz, if you are not in a relationship. It will allow you to find out your self-love language.
Do you already know your love language?
If you took the quiz, were you surprised by your results?
How important do you think it is to know yours and your partner’s (if you’re in a relationship)?