❤️💣..

Love bombing?

I’ve heard the term before, but never really knew exactly what it was.

Until today.

I heard someone say it in passing and decided to do some research.

I found this great article: https://www.happierhuman.com/stop-love-bombing-wa1/

Oh.

Why in the world does this sound like me?? Am I a love bomber? Am I actually toxic? Am I really this horrible? No way. It couldn’t be.

Afraid so.

Going by what I read, I apparently “unintentionally” love bomb. Fuck. Why? Why do I do this? Why am I like this? Is this why your relationships never work out? Do I want to feel love so much so, that I sabotage relationships before they even start? Probably.

But… according to this article, I don’t “love bomb” in order to manipulate people or to “take control”. I don’t do it in hopes they return the sentiment. It actually does come from a genuine place. It says that I want my partner to feel a love they’ve never felt before and I want them to feel as amazing as I think they are, that I do too much. Like the saying goes, “she’s doing the most”. And, unfortunately, I do. Every time. Awesome.

Okay. Time to take a step back and reevaluate yourself. Like reallyyy reevaluate yourself.

Love bombing can stem from past traumas, insecurities, and many other things. Makes sense. I’ve been through it when it comes to relationships.

I’m insecure. Got it. Sounds about right.

Cue anxiety.

Maybe I don’t actually know what genuine love is or feels like, like the article says. Maybe I have an unrealistic vision in my head of what a healthy, normal, relationship looks like. Maybe this is why I “fall in love” so hard and so fast. Maybe I’ve never actually been in love. Maybe I’m in love with the idea of being in love. What is love then? What does real love feel like? How do you feel when you’re genuinely in love with someone? I know that I have a huge heart and have a ton of love to give and I care.. a lot. But I don’t think that’s the same thing as being in love.

This really makes me want to apologize to anyone I’ve ever been in a relationship with, and tell them that my love bombing was definitely not intentional. I didn’t even know I was doing it.

So, what do I do? How do I stop love bombing? This isn’t healthy. This is not good for me, and most definitely not good for any relationship I may find myself in, in the future.

Apparently, I just need to be normal. But.. what the heck is “normal”? How do you just be in a relationship without showing the person you’re with that you care? How will they know if I don’t do all the things for them or show them attention and affection or constantly tell them how much they mean to me or how great I think they are.

Stop.

I’m going to end up pushing anyone I may meet away. The article stated that you should write down what you’re thinking and feeling whenever you feel the need to “do” something for your partner. Try to find out the reasoning behind the action. What is making you feel like you need to do extra at that very moment? What is missing that you’re trying to compensate for? Is this coming from a place of love or something else?

I’m not saying you shouldn’t show the person you’re with that you care. You should. All the time. Not doing so is detrimental to a relationship, as well. You just have to find healthy ways to convey it. You should be obsessed with your partner (not in the psychopath way tho). You should think they’re the greatest thing on this planet. You should want to spend time with them. You should want to give them attention. You should want to show affection. You should want to make their life easier. I’m just saying, find a healthy way to do these things. You don’t have to send five paragraphs a day explaining how great you think they are and what they mean to you.

The era of love bombing is coming to an end. I promise.