With so many friends’ relationships ending (along with mine) and them talking about moving on, I got to thinking…
How long after a relationship ends is it “okay” to open yourself back up to the thought of loving someone and accepting love in return? Three months? Six months? A year? Two years? What’s the “right” answer? Is there even one?
There are so so SO many factors.
I, personally, think it depends on the situation. It definitely depends on how long it’s been since the relationship ended. I think it depends on how long you had been mentally checked out of the previous relationship. It depends on how you feel about yourself after the breakup. I think it depends on how you view the past relationship. I also think it depends on the new person in your life.
According to the interwebs; “One study on love and heartbreak suggests that it takes most people about 11 weeks to see their past relationship in a new light and truly feel ready to move on.”
I feel like 11 weeks might be a little too soon, but again, it goes back to other factors.
The consensus online is saying to wait around three months before trying to date again. This gives you time to focus on yourself and “heal” from the relationship that ended.
Then begs the question, how long does it take to fall in love? “Men take an average of 88 days (about three months) to tell their partner they love them, whereas women take an average of 134 days (four and a half months), according to a 2013 survey conducted by YouGov and eHarmony. They also found 39% of men say “I love you” within a month of dating someone, compared to 23% of women.”
Some more interesting facts I found::
A 2011 study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology surveying small groups of undergraduate students found similar results. On average:
• Men think about confessing love 97 days (a little over three months) into a new relationship.
• Women think about confessing love 149 days (about five months) into a new relationship.
• Men think it becomes acceptable to confess love starting one month into a relationship.
• Women think it becomes acceptable to confess love starting six months into a relationship.
It all varies on the people in the relationship. The level and strength of the friendship comes into play. How long you’ve known them affects it. Neurological factors also play a part. According to research, it takes 1/5 of a second for your brain to produce the neurochemical reaction of love. So that “love at first sight” feeling is most definitely real.
“They” say that you fall in love at least three times in your life. Embrace it. If someone tells you they love you, realize how much it took for them to tell you that. Do with it what you will; but just know it was hard for them.
There’s no right or wrong time to open yourself up to the possibility of love again. You can’t help how you feel. Whether it’s one month into a new relationship, or one year. You feel how you feel. I think my only word of advice, is, go for it. Maybe make sure you know your partner feels the same way about you before you say those words, ya know.. to avoid any awkward silence or embarrassment of them not reciprocating. Or don’t. Just tell them. Live your best life. No regrets.
I am all for people loving other people. This life is entirely too short. Be happy. Do NOT just throw those words around, though. Mean it. It’s not something to take lightly. Educate yourself. Know the difference between lust, infatuation, and love and go from there.
I literally love love. It makes me so happy.
Welcome to the Chaos.. 