Birthday Dinner Time..

We met my mom and stepdad at Cheddar’s for dinner for my birthday last night. I was super anxious, because I never know what kind of “surprises” my mom is going to try to plan. Thankfully, it was just the two of them. My anxiety has been abnormally high lately, and I most likely would have shut down if other people had been there. I love my family, don’t get me wrong, but I have to be mentally prepared to be around other people.

Dinner was good. The food wasn’t the best, it was all pretty dry, and took forever, but the company was good. I was looking forward to the Key West Chicken & Shrimp, but Cheddar’s still isn’t using their full menu. My mom is one of my best friends, so I always enjoy catching up with her. They sold their farm, and are buying a new house, two blocks from us, so she is excited about that. My mom and I have had our share of problems, especially when I was in active addiction, but we came out stronger than ever. We talk every day, and if I go a few days without texting her, she starts to worry.

The whole crew

Just being honest right now.. Y’all, I was so nervous last night. My SO has been acting sort of distant lately, and seemingly preoccupied. He has been spending a lot of time with my kids, too. While we were at dinner, he was whispering to my oldest and he kept like putting his hand in his pocket, and looking at me weirder than normal.. I definitely thought he was gonna propose to me.

He didn’t. However, when we got home, my oldest made a comment about it, and later he said he had actually thought about doing it, but said that he thought I wouldn’t have been happy because it was technically my birthday dinner (I told him not to do it on a holiday or my birthday). Then he was mad at himself for not doing it. He said I don’t ever get dressed up and he didn’t know when the next time would be. So now, if I ever dress up again to go somewhere, I’m going to be a nervous wreck.. again!! 🤣

My little family

If you’re engaged, were you a ball of anxiety beforehand? Or did you genuinely not know that your SO was going to propose? Did you have any ‘silly’ requests for when they could or couldn’t do it?

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